Faltering stamina

My stamina with the whole self promotion thing might be flagging somewhat. It’s not helped by feeling generally uncomfortable with attention, yet having to shirk that feeling. 

It’s not my natural habitat, but I’ll do it if called upon – which isn’t a great approach for somebody starting out.  You need that labrador-like energy and zesty willingness to hurl yourself into stuff and bleat on about how brilliant you are to anyone who’ll listen. 

If you can deliver as well, that helps, but ostensibly it often seems to matter less.

Just not sure I can be arsed even trying to do that anymore, the shouty twittery thing.  I’m finding it a bit of a drag maintaining the will keep checking my work Twitter feed and all these relentlesly moving and shaking people of apparently indomitable positive spirit who I suppose should be termed my peers.

Am I falling out with the subject of my trade – that is, if I was ever “In” with it (for there are plenty of things in this short life which interest me much more), or am I simply tiring of the loudest people who work in it because I have too much time to listen to them?  Both perhaps, maybe one slightly more than the other.

Either way, I’d just like a job please  Preferably one with decent conditions, flexitime, 9-5 if possible, not too many outside demands.  One which ensures I don’t starve and I can still live in relative comfort, even if it won’t afford me lavish wheels, expensive champagne and posh Mayfair clubs. 

Don’t think I’m going to be VC of ReallyImportantStuff at GoogleSoft anymore, and I don’t care.  But now I’m getting financially twitchy and a bit mad, so I’d like a job of some kind please.

job hope punctured

It's difficult not to get mentally carried away when you secure a job interview.  To envision the potential future, actually getting the job and all the differences it may make to your day-to-day life.  The exciting things you could do if given the scope and responsibility, and authority.  How it, and the new people you'd work with might change things: attitudes, outlooks, personality, character.

Yet it can all hinge on a single person.  The one person who you engage with in a preliminary vetting interview.  The person the successful applicant will report to.  Your relationship with them is critical.  If first impressions are bad - and initial, instinctive ones are often the strongest which we can't help but lead with - then everything changes. 

This person who appears distracted, cold, straight, uptight and doesn't even attempt small talk - you think you can work with her day-to-day?  Reckon she'll be open to new ideas or just want to fit you as a cog into her wheel? 

Oh dear.  All premature hopes of change and predictions of brilliant new difference are suddenly slashed and punctured.  Hope hisses out and you wither back to square one.